Pull it Together

Image from iStock

Image from iStock

Have you ever been commanded to pull yourself together while you were suffering? I’ve had that harsh expectation placed on my hurting heart many times throughout my life … sometimes it is an order I even give myself.

But it is the right? Is it really healthy to just get a grip and pull it together? Does a stiff upper lift really promote healing when hope is threadbare and the agony surrounding you pulls you down deep?

In my latest (in)Courage post, I write about loss, about unrealistic expectations to pull it together. I explore how one woman in the Bible didn’t pull it together … in fact, her display of grief led someone to think she was drunk out of her mind!

Will you join me in bringing light to the truth this misconception often conceals? You can read the entire post here.

Mean Streak

Photo Credit: iStock

Photo Credit: iStock

Growing up, my family owned a cat we called “Kitty-Bob.” With his fluffy orange fur, rotund physique and surly disposition, Kitty-Bob reminded me of a real-life Garfield. I’m certain that if Kitty-Bob could have talked, sarcasm would have been his first language.

Kitty-Bob wasn’t always mean. He had tender moments … moments when he’d want to snuggle close enough for fingers to gently massage behind his ears and underneath his chin. But, unfortunately, those moments seldom occurred and when they did happen, they were on Kitty-Bob’s terms.

For instance, if Kitty-Bob was resting on the couch and was affectionately approached by a person who didn’t know him better, that poor, unsuspecting soul would be greeted with sharp claws and teeth. Given that piece of information, one would ascertain that Kitty-Bob should not be touched. Well … that approach worked just fine until Kitty-Bob decided he wanted his ears stroked and bit the closest hand to him before he smooshed his large head under said hand.

I’m telling you, that cat’s mean streak matched his girth.

While I’d classify my temperament in a much nicer league than the dearly-departed Kitty-Bob’s … I’m not always kind. In fact, I have mean moments. More than I’d care to admit. I shared a glimpse of my inner mean girl over at (in)Courage today. I hope you’ll wander over to take a peek … and if I do, I sure hope you’ll still come back here … I promise, I’m usually sweet.

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Proverbs 16:24

When You Don’t Like Yourself (Give-Away Post)

Wonderfully Made

Have you ever taken a look at yourself and thought, “Girl, you’re so messed up, I can barely stand you?”

I’m not talking about staring down a mirror and lamenting the shape of your nose or the crow’s feet perched beside your eyes.

I’m referring to moments when you simply don’t like yourself.

The times when you feel awkward, inadequate, friendless and unwanted. The days when your best efforts reel in disappointment instead of accolades. Moments when your actions beget disapproval and your voice crawls timid down your throbbing throat.

Perhaps the bitter feelings toward yourself surfaced after you made a mistake. Maybe you found yourself stirring a pot when you only intended to sprinkle in some seeds of goodwill. I experienced a moment like that just a few hours ago, and while I likely won’t even remember the incident several months from now, in that instance it was enough to resurrect a part of myself I’d rather stay dormant.

Or maybe the cause of self-disenchantment hides deep within your core. Instead of feeling like you’ve made a mistake, you might feel like you are a mistake. I’ve been there before.

Another possible cause of disliking yourself could stem from emotional trauma … the kind inflicted by others … or as in my case from five years ago … your own body.

For many of the battles I fought during my life, I found my most formidable opponent to be myself:

Each time I owned an error I didn’t make, I delivered a quick jab to my left

When dredged up past guilt, I landed a hook punch to my jaw

And, whenever I believed a lie about my self-worth, I dealt a severe uppercut that sent me wobbling to the floor

Time and time again I go to that miserable place where
I slap on a label that reads “misfit” instead of proudly displaying the one emblazoned with”beloved.”

Last week I received a gift in the mail from my dear friend, Lisa Leonard that reminded me of a truth that I too often forget. Even though the present was not a surprise, tears stung my eyes when I opened the package to find the beautiful necklace (pictured above) from Lisa’s Faith Collection. The words “wonderfully made” stamped on silver tell me who I am. They remind me that the mishaps that do come from my own judgement errors, pale in comparison to the mistake of digging out that tattered veil of rejection and placing it atop my head.

They tell me that I’m God’s child. That I am beautiful, wanted … adored. They tell me that I wield purpose.

One reason why I share such personal anecdotes on my blog is because I know I’m not alone. I know that many of the experiences and feelings that are etched into my life are shared by others. I know that when I bring light to my own issues, I can help others feel less alienated and more whole.

And that is why I’d like to give one of my readers a chance to win a $50 gift certificate from DaySpring to be used to purchase something from Lisa’s collection and perhaps a few other of your favorite things. All of Lisa’s creations in the Faith Collection are stamps with words of hope and encouragement such as: By Grace Alone; Daily Grow in Grace; Be Still and Know; He Call the Stars by Name; and many more.

How can you win this Lisa Leonard goodness? That’s the easy part. Just leave a comment below stating something that you LIKE about yourself. Something from the Creator that was woven into your being. That’s it. The contest will be open until 8:00 p.m. EST on Thursday December 6, so the winner will have time to take advantage of the DaySpring jewelry sale that ends December 9. Also, you get an extra entry for tweeting this post and one for sharing this post on your Facebook page. Just leave an extra comment telling me you shared and you’ll be entered twice … or three times!

Even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Biting off more than you can chew

Last month I began a series on adjusting to a new job. It was part of Nester’s 31 days segment that I signed up for with every intention of completing. Yet I got to day … 5 … maybe?

That brings me to the point of this post. Oftentimes, when in the throes of transition, it’s better to not take on too much.  It’s better to not fit just one more spoonful of anything … even the sweetest of anythings … on an already full plate.

There I was starting a new job that entailed adjusting not only to the position itself and a new organization and co-workers, but to a 2-hour commute (EACH WAY). By adding one more thing to my over-committed load, I set myself up for failure. It was simply unrealistic to think that I could leave my home before 6 am and return home after 6 pm and take care of my children, my husband, my home and write a new blog post every day. Now tell me … why did I not put that together sooner?

Through that experience I learned the importance of setting realistic, attainable goals. I also learned to take time during those full-plate moments to savor the little joys in life.

I wrote more about these simple pleasures at (in)Courage. If your plate isn’t too full, would you consider heading over there now?

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