Have you noticed that there can exist both a positive and negative component in just about every personality trait? For instance, friendliness is a lovely attribute to possess, but problems can ensue if one is overly friendly…add naivety into the overly friendly batter and you have a dangerous concoction in the making.
A characteristic belonging to me that has brought forth both triumph and woe is my competitive spirit. I push myself hard. My adrenaline levels climb at Cheetah racing speeds when I’m presented with a challenge. When I commit to a project I strive to achieve the best results. And, I don’t rig games of Candy Land just because my opponent is five.* Yep, I’m competitive alright.
When properly harnessed, my competitiveness can propel me toward great accomplishments like:
- Winning seven out of ten available scholarships that helped me pay for my college education
- Moving to Orlando, FL two weeks after college graduation with two suitcases, $500, and no job
- Remaining in Orlando after I lost my first job and lived on blueberry muffins and Cream of Wheat hot cereal for nine days when my checking account boasted only $1.27
- Walking up and down two flights of stairs (repeatedly) while 9 cm dilated in order to avoid a C-section
- Winning public relations awards within my first year in the field
I’m not bragging, just setting the stage.
On the flip side of my competitive coinage lies some not so pretty events:
- My husband refused to play Scrabble with me for five solid years because I got too nasty whenever his wooden letters landed on the triple word score square…especially when one or (shudder) more of those letters was worth 8 points. Hell hath no fury like a wordsmith outsmarted by her left-brained, former math majoring husband.
- On more than one occasion I disregarded the feelings of colleagues and dominated work and school projects to ensure that my ideas were implemented and praised.
- I once stayed up until 3:00 a.m. baking and decorating Christmas cookies so that everyone would oooh and ahh over my creations at a church social.
There are more examples…some much uglier than what I shared. I’ll spare you.
My competitive edge also has advantages and disadvantages when it comes to my writing. Throughout the past decade the quality of my writing has improved. That is a plus.
On the minus column is the fact that when it comes to blogging I have hit a wall built by my drive to out do myself each time I post. Yes, it is my heart’s desire to write for God’s glory and not my own…yet still I sometimes allow my perfectionistic tendencies grip control.
In an effort to break free from the rut I am currently in, I have decided to write more…yes, I still want to go for quality and of course I want to continue to grow closer to Christ and help others who share that journey, but not every post will be devotional in nature…not every post will have a lesson.
Every post will still be honest, transparent, and a documentation of my becoming.
I hope that you will keep reading.
* I am not always mean…I have allowed my kids to beat me at board games ocassionally.