Four years ago, I created a little blog called Becoming Me. The title fit perfectly during such a tender season of my spiritual journey. When I started blogging, I was – to put it gently – fragile.
Want the less gentle version? I was a mess and on my way back from emotional bankruptcy. I was surviving and recovering from a severe postpartum mood disorder (by now, almost everyone who knows me from the blog world has read my PPMD story, but if you have not, you can find it here). It was through my recovery … my survival … when I started to learn about who I was in Christ.
Although I had accepted Jesus into my heart as a young child, I really had not realized the significance of my life. I did not understand that by under-valuing my worth, I was not giving others the best of me. I was not giving God the best of me.
Becoming Me developed from the process of learning my identity in Christ and wanting to share the beautiful truth that I was finally accepting.
One truth that repeatedly pierced and motivated my heart is the truth found in Psalm 139; 13 – 14 (Version below is NASB).
For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
These words actually blessed me earlier today as I held my dear friend’s 6-day-old baby boy. After all, one cannot (can she?) cradle a precious new life within the crooks of her arms and not be overwhelmed by the gift of life.
During the past few years, I have come to realize that I take God’s breath away (figuratively speaking) in the way that one loses herself in the scent of a newborn.
I was woven into formation by the Creator of all matter. I was … I am … wonderfully made. And nothing can change that. Not how I feel about myself, nor how anyone else feels about me can minimize the cold hard fact that burns wild in my soul.
I cannot say that I have BECOME, because that will not happen this side of heaven. But I can say that I am no longer searching for who I was meant to be.
I am Angela Nazworth … a flawed and forgiven wife, mother and writer … an ordinary human girl who is nonetheless a masterpiece. And I want you to know that you are also someone of amazing worth. You are beautiful. You are special. You are meant to be.
You … are womb woven and wonderfully made.