If you have been reading this blog since its inception, or anytime this past month, you know a lot about me. And, if you read my family blog as well, you probably know a lot of information that you wish you’d have never been privy to having in the first place. What you may not know is that I have a competitive streak that borders on the ferocious side. A few years ago, it pounced that boundary in the same manner a hungry lioness takes down an antelope, causing The Professor to vow “I’m never playing with you again!”Oh yeah. I got ugly.
Tell me the truth, you think I’m always super sweet right? Well, when it comes to board games, I am sweeter now than I was a few years back. I enjoy a win, but I don’t sulk at a loss, well, not for long. But let me give you a glimpse of the unsweet, actually sour, me of many yesterdays ago when my husband made that vow.
The Professor, being quite the strategist scored 70 points with a three-letter word. That ticked me off. Actually, now it impresses me more than it annoys me. But eight years ago, it angered me. And I got mean. So mean, that The Professor declared me so. My retort proved my sullen disposition because I lack the ability of cleverness when I’m ornery. “I AM NOT MEAN,” I bellowed in my best Joan Crawford voice. “I AM SWEET! EVERYONE ELSE TELLS ME I’M SWEET. THEY CANNOT ALL BE WRONG! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE MAD AT YOU FOR RUINING A PERFECTLY GOOD BOARD.”
My maturing astounds you, no? I’m not proud. And, after letting too much time pass, I allowed God to help me understand why I couldn’t handle losing, especially to The Professor.
My husband is good at so many things. He’s a math whiz, he has a Ph.D., and he even cooks better than I do. But words, they’re my turf. His continual winning in what I considered as “my game” cut me deep. I wasn’t really angry at the loving man I married. I was angry with the stupid girl I thought I was. Instead of listening to the truth like “it’s just a game,” I listened to those lies again, “you’re an idiot,” “you’ll never be a writer, you can’t even win a game of Scrabble” And believing those lies made me angry and bitter.
Perhaps I’m beating that proverbial dead horse by mentioning on this blog again how dangerous it is to believe those lies, and I apologize if that is the case; but coming to terms with what is real and what is false, is vital to becoming who I am suppose to be.
I’m studying the Armor of God for the devotional series I am writing in Faith Lifts, and the belt of truth, is the first garment I am to wear. The second is righteousness, the type of righteousness that comes from total submission to and faith in Christ. I cannot pick up either of those vital pieces of armor if I am distracted by lies. And, isn’t it funny how lies can be found in everything…even in the innocent fun of a board game.
I have been thinking a lot about Scrabble during the past few weeks because I joined Facebook, and play its version, Scrabulous with a few friends, including the wonderful bloggers, Alana and “Mommy.” Now, these ladies are smart. Very smart. They each beat me twice. In fact, I have not done much winning at all. Facebook statistics tell me that out of the eight games I’ve completed, I’ve won, two. That’s not a great record. But do I feel stupid? No. I’ve made a few doltish moves, but I don’t feel stupid. I actually feel smarter than I did when I started, because I’m learning more with each game. Just like everyday life. I don’t know all the answers. But I know the One who does. And if He says I’m not stupid, I’m gonna believe Him.
Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. Hebrews 6: 17-18 (NIV)