When Genny contacted me regarding her blog carnival/challenge based on the New York Times best seller One Month to Live, I gave her my promise of participation. She’s my friend. However, had I happened across this challenge by chance, you would not be reading my response. You see, I tend to avoid books, conversations, and even thinking about the subject of how I would live my life if I found out it would end in 30 days.
It’s not because I harbor a fear of death, I don’t. It’s that I get uneasy when called to more self examination and the myriad inadequacies that always unearths.
Since I started writing this blog eight months ago, my flaws have been splattered about this electronic journal. You already know that I’m selfish, insecure, ferociously competitive, impatient, prideful, ungrateful, lacking in self control, and at times emotionally imbalanced. I often wonder if my readership has really grown because so many feel that they can relate to me or if it is really due to the “can’t keep my eyes off the train wreck” syndrome.
On the “plus” side of my list of character traits sits loyalty. I keep my word and was determined to explore this issue. First, because I said I would. Secondly, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to do it for other unknown reasons.
Initially, my thoughts were about how to get the most out of this life while I have it. Then it hit me…nothing I do or experience in this body and on this planet will hold a candle to what I will experience in Heaven. Nothing. Not a week in Disney World or even a trip down the Grand Canyon.
It is unfathomable that my heart will experience a happiness guaranteed to surpass the elation that accompanies Eskimo kisses, snuggles, and giggles shared with my children. The tingling sensation that trickles down toward my fingertips when The Professor kisses my neck will one day be replaced with feelings not even known on this earth. When I am standing in the presence of angels, will I even remember the lovely songs the birds now sing? This life of mine has been blessed by immeasurable beauty and there is more to come when I reach my permanent home.
So what would I do if I had but a month to live? I would stop living for me. Stop striving for things to temporarily heal wounds and patch insecurities. Instead, I hope I would devote my time to contributing to the lives of others.
I would listen intently, invite freely, converse openly, compliment lavishly, and forgive without a millisecond of hesitation. Most importantly, I would share the details about my upcoming change of address without inhibition. I would live without fear knowing that nothing can happen to me on earth that cannot be fixed the instant I walk into Heaven.
I have no clue as to the amount of time I have left to live on this beautiful blue rock. I could have thirty days, thirty years, thirty minutes, or some number greater or less than all of those possibilities.
Will I now begin to live as though I have only one month to live? Honestly, I don’t think so. I think that for me, that train of thought would serve to fan the fading embers of my perfectionist tendencies. But I will make changes.
I will try my hardest to focus on what matters and give little attention to the shiny looking stuff born of insignificance. I will continually remind myself that there are no riches on earth that compare to the treasures my Father has stored for me in Heaven.
I will live not to receive but to give…to leave behind a legacy. It is my prayer that my legacy be embroidered with love, truth, and hope. A legacy that will not highlight the life I lived on earth, but the life than can be lived by all who place their trust in the nail scarred hands of Jesus.
For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die. For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don’t know which is better. I’m torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. Phil. 1:19-23 New Living Translation
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Gal. 5:22-25 NIV
In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:2-4 NIV
To read more posts on this subject, please head on over to Genny’s blog, My Cup 2 Yours.Also, it’s not too late to write your own post about this. Feeling a little nervous about that? I totally understand, as I wrote, I was too, but I am so glad I gave it a chance.