Dear Thirty-Year-Old Me,
In two weeks, you will finally meet that precious baby girl nestled inside you. Yes, your instinct is correct, she will arrive a week early even though the consensus from your family and friends is that all baby girls come late. I know that the barrage unsolicited advice weighs heavy on your heart elevating seemingly inextinguishable levels of fear. People mean well. And the reason why there is so much differing advice from so many is simply because one way does not work for everyone.
You are familiar with the term Postpartum Depression (PPD), but you don’t quite understand what it means. Not many people do and the name alone perpetuates confusion. In reality, PPD is just one type of a Perinatal Mood Disorder, and pregnant women can be effected as well. You are one of those pregnant women, and you aren’t feeling depressed, but you are experiencing extreme anxiety and at the same time are being held captive by thoughts that do not seem to be a part of you.
Let me make a few things perfectly clear. You are not crazy. You are not a monster. And you are not alone. You. Are. Not. Alone. Please talk to your midwife about your symptoms. She won’t try to take your baby, she won’t doubt your love for your baby, and she won’t label you an unfit mother. She will want to help you. She will understand. And as much as it pains me to write this, there won’t be many who will understand you…not in 2004. But there is support available for you. And one day, you will lend your voice to offer comfort to those who will walk in your shoes.
So when your pink and sweet little girl comes into the world, be gentle with yourself. Do not let shame keep you from taking the medication you need to get well. Love that little baby with the best of your ability, but quickly accept the truth that you cannot be everything to her. It’s not your job to be…that job belongs to her Creator, the Almighty God. And He, dear one, chose you to be her mother. Please read that line again and again until it sinks deep into your marrow. You were chosen. And since He does not make mistakes, trust that He will be with you as you mother. Unclasp the fists that clench guilt and fear, and cling to the hem of Christ’s garment. He will give you His strength, His love, His patience, and His resolve. And because of Him, you will make it.
The mother of a five-year-old spunky girl and an almost two-year-old mellow fellow
(AKA – You at age 35)
Ephesians 1:16-20 (New Living Translation)
I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance. I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty
power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.
Thank you for reading my series of letters. As you know, in each letter I encouraged my younger self to spend more time in God’s word. That is why today, Amy Humphrey from U*R* Unique is giving a way a free custom made bookmark to one of you. Here is how you can win.
For 1 entry – leave a comment on this post
Would you like more than one chance? I thought so…. Now, this is going to require you to comment more than once….not because I’m in desperate need for big comment numbers, but because it’s the easiest way my math deficient brain knows how to do this. I will have a number randomly drawn when the contest is over. So if the number is 47, the person who left comment 47 will be the winner.
To make commenting easy for you, I am allowing anonymous comments and taking away the word verification system….JUST FOR THIS CONTEST. If you do leave an annon. comment, be sure to leave your blog link or an e-mail address or else I cannot let you know if you win.
For more chances to win, leave me comment for each of the things you do or have done. If 100 or more comments are entered, I will purchase an additional bookmark from Amy and there will be 2 winners instead of one.
Commented on the advice letter to 15yr old me
Commented on the advice letter to 20yr old me
Commented on the advice letter to 25 yr old me
Visit Amy’s site and tell me the name of your favorite item
Purchase something from Amy’s site and leave me 5 additional comments
Participate in Kristen’s SWAK carnival
Twitter this post
Link to this post on your Facebook or Myspace page (I make it very easy for you to do this)
Write your own advice letters to yourself
Post your picture on my non traditional blogroll
Subscribe to this blog, and of course, let me know that you have done so in the comment section
Add the Becoming Me button to your site
Finally, write a post about this contest linking to this post
Phew..that’s a lot of chances. This contest is open until 8 p.m. On Sunday, Feb. 15th. Winner(s) will be announced on Monday, February 16th. You do not need to have a blog to be eligible to win.