Last month, I lost my job. Some say I became another victim of the financial crisis that exploded four years ago; however, victim is a label I refuse to wear. Yes, my job was completely eliminated due to “strategic corporate changes,” yet still, I do not see myself as a victim.  I am a strong, intelligent, professional woman who received a push toward a new direction. It’s awkward. It’s uncomfortable. At times it’s downright frightening, but it’s … right. Deep in my bones, I know it’s right.

Terror and excitement pounce inside me like two stubborn, prize-hungry boxers in a ring. One minute “Excitement” thrusts its fists high in the air as “Terror,” on its knees, clings to the ropes. A minute later, the fighters exchange positions.

I don’t know what my future holds … but I never did. I thought I knew. I had plans. I still make plans.  I still dream. I still strategize … I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t. But, no one ever truly knows what calamity or unbridled joy will be opened from one day to the next.  No one makes plans and expects them to be rewritten … but sometimes a rewrite is simply a push in the right direction.

“Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future.” – Proverbs 31:25 – NASB

3 thoughts on “Push

  1. I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear that you are adopting this attitude. I am in the same situation except it was due to financial reasons at the college, and, perhaps for the first time in my life, I truly believe that God has a plan and have been following him. It has been so freeing, almost to the point where it seems like I’m in a daze and doing something wrong. When I found out, it was ok. It obviously made me upset, but God had been sending me hints for several months about forthcoming changes. I can’t say that I think it was the right decision for my institution, but I do believe it was right for me.

    Will be praying for you as God leads you. I’m so with you there.


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